The divorce post
My ex-husband and I split in 2020 after 11 years together and 7 years of marriage. Thoughts on amicable divorce and self-determination.
I got divorced in July 2021. Because of COVID, the court experienced serious delays, and it took over a year. We had separated and filed a year before, in June 2020. We had been married for 7 years, together for 11, since we were both 18. We parted on good terms and as friends.
We had drifted apart after he finished law school and started an intense law job. Soon after I got very ill and it frightened him-- he was not able to be there for me. I suffered for a long time in a way he didn't understand, and refused to understand. My grieving process started 3 years before the divorce, whereas his started after we physically separated.
I waited a very long time to be sure. I tried to do everything I could do by myself to fix the relationship. I am not sure if I recommend this. On the plus side, I had pretty much resolved my issues with the relationship by the time we separated. On the minus side, I spent extra years in an unhappy relationship. Extra fertile years that I can never get back.